On December 23, 2021, my son, Josh took his own life by jumping in front of a train in Pecos, Tx. After dabbing marijuana the full month of December, he decided to pack his suitcase, call an Uber and leave. Later that evening he took a selfie of himself at the airport and posted it to Twitter. We knew where he was headed…Los Angeles. Each time he’s in psychosis, his voices tell him to go to LA. This time he said, “God sent him there [LA] to save the people”.
The first night in LA he stayed at a Hostel. The second day he had no money. I was so angry at him. I thought this would be a good time to hit his rock bottom, by not sending him money. That idea didn’t last long. After praying for his safety, I knew I had to bring him home quickly. Tough love doesn’t work for someone in psychosis. We live in Houston, so if he lost his phone or something happen to him it would be impossible to find him in LA.
He went from grandiose delusions, sounding arrogant to later sounding confused why “God sent him there”. The God he referred to was not Jesus. When he was in psychosis he denies Jesus, and speaks of Greek, Egyptian, or Mayan Gods… Demons. We finally got him on a bus two days later.
I stayed in contact with him, telling him I loved him and just wanted him home safe. He got off the bus in Pecos, Tx, and had a plan to jump in front of a bus. He dropped his phone and it shattered. He called me from an unknown number, which belonged to be a pediatrician/cardiologist who was on his day off from a refugee camp in Pecos. This amazing doctor called an ambulance to put Josh on a mental health hold after observing and talking with him. Josh told the pediatrician he wanted to jump in front of a train. Paramedics and police show up… Josh showed no confusion and answered every question correctly according to them. He managed to fool 2 officers and a paramedic. So they let him go. Shortly after, he followed through with his Plan. We are still waiting on the investigation, autopsy, and police report.
By, Sonia Jimenez of Houston Texas
To Sonia Jimenez, Joshua’s mother…
“Sonia, you did everything right. You loved, supported, and set loving boundaries for your son. You tried to get him hospitalized and that’s all you could have done.
Josh’s psychosis deceived the first responders. Our society’s lack of understanding, resources, and tools provide pathways for our kids to continue self-destructive behaviors. Our country needs to start speaking the truth and working with us, not against us. They’ve taken away protective factors and allowed the drug predators to set up shop in our neighborhoods.
When Josh tweeted that he was going to harm himself, that should have been the only evidence they needed to get him help. You told them he needed help repeatedly and they denied it. When they kept denying medical help for Josh you turned to God and accepted that you were powerless over the actions of the first responders and Josh’s hijacker, THC in his brain. You treated the officers and paramedics with love and understanding too. You knew they were doing their best to assess the situation too. People do not understand the strength of a mother like you. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
The hijacker that took over Josh’s brain (THC) is practically impossible to negotiate with. Only actionable boundaries can improve an outcome when it comes to psychosis and addiction, but the boundaries never can guarantee the outcomes. I came to understand a long time ago that I was no longer negotiating or talking with my son, I was talking with the hijacker/disease that stole my son.
Your boundaries were an act of love that showed your son that you are not going to participate in his destructive behaviors. It’s the lack of boundaries in our society, ‘lack of education, the incompetence of our government, and drug predators that failed Josh.
I and many other people will not allow Josh all the other people who have suffered to die in vain.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.”
Aubree Adams, Director of Every Brain Matters
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