Posted on September 26, 2024 View all news
Jacob left home after graduating high school and returned to live with us for the last six years of his life. He needed our help as he started a new career path in real estate. He was a total joy in our lives, so we were happy to have him back with us. We interacted with him daily and it was all day everyday through the Covid pandemic. We were very involved in his life and knew him well.
On June 21, 2022, my husband and I left for a two-week vacation to Puerto Rico with friends. We left Jacob, his fiancé, and our youngest daughter, who was home from college, at home. Our daughter took over caring for our three grandsons, whom I usually cared for while their parents worked. All seemed well when we left, and we had absolutely no concerns. A few days later, our daughter called. She needed help resolving an issue with Jacob. He was helping care for our grandsons, which was great, but sometimes he took charge when he shouldn’t. Jacob insisted they make a healthier breakfast instead of sugar cereal, but the boys wanted cereal. It was quite humorous to me, but we helped resolve the issue. The next day, Jacob called and shared with us how he felt passionate about getting the older grandson (age 9) into Jiu-Jitsu classes he was involved with and how it would benefit him. He asked for our support to encourage this. We were touched by his concern for our grandchild and his desire to help him. That would be our last conversation with Jacob. He loved his nieces and nephews. He was always playing with them when they were around, and was always thinking of ways he could help them learn and be prepared for life.
Jacob loved his family, fiancé, and friends. Everyone who knew Jacob loved him. He was happy and often bragged about how much his friend’s parents loved him as well. He was always a joy to have around, often entering the room singing loudly to make us laugh. He kept everyone entertained by telling jokes and reciting lines from movies, shows, or poems. He had become an avid reader and spent a lot of time listening to podcasts, learning about human behavior and politics. He had received professional firearms training and was extremely cautious about proper safety when handling them. He was excited about his new real estate opportunities. He was excited to get married and start his own family. He and his fiancé were health conscious, exercised, ate well, and used natural remedies for health issues. All seemed well in his life.
In the meantime, we were having fun in Puerto Rico. A week into our trip, the fun stopped on Monday afternoon, June 27, 2022, when everything changed. Our daughter called us in tears. She said Jacob had just started acting weird out of the blue, and we were dumbfounded by what she was telling us. She described behavior he had never exhibited before.
Over time, we learned that it began in his bedroom. He had gone in there to have a routine business telephone call. His fiancé went in to check on him because he didn’t come out when the call ended like usual. She said he looked weird, just standing there in a trance, then started yelling obscenities and walking unbalanced. His fiancé helped him downstairs to her room, hoping to calm him down. He then said to her, “I feel like I need to hit you,” then attempted to strike her face, only to knock her glasses off. He then broke a vanity mirror and shattered a glass lamp. Our daughter was then called downstairs to help find the glasses so his fiancé could see. They cleaned up the glass to prevent Jacob, who was barefoot, from injuring himself. He continued this rampage, breaking more things and speaking incoherently. The girls described his behavior as though he was paranoid, hearing voices, and hallucinating. I cannot emphasize enough that this behavior was not our Jacob.
We encouraged the girls to leave the house. One of our friends we were with was in law enforcement and was advising us on how to deal with the situation while continuing to be on the phone with our kids. Throughout the entire ordeal, we were all trying to get through to Jacob, calling him and sending messages of our love and concern, but we received no response. Our oldest son came over to our home, called the police at our request, and stayed outside as we tried to determine what to do. We were all very concerned about Jacob’s erratic behavior; we wanted our oldest son to wait for the police to come and assist before going in. The police were slow to respond, and once they arrived, they did nothing. They were not concerned because no one else was in harms way in the home. Losing patience with the police, our son, while on FaceTime with my husband, decided it was time to enter our home. Calling to Jacob again and again with no response, he soon found him on the kitchen floor, bleeding from his head, with a gun close by. He was gone. We were all devastated beyond words, so heartbroken and confused. We assumed it happened soon after the girls left because no gunshots had been heard. Jacob first fired a shot through our kitchen window before shooting himself.
Jacob had just enjoyed a normal leisurely morning with his sister and fiancé. They fixed a nice breakfast, played a game of chess, he ordered some shoes online, talked with his business partner about an upcoming project and just a little later, put a bullet in his head. It made no sense.
With the help of our dear friends, devastated throughout the journey, we made it home by the following evening. One of our daughters, along with her family from Utah, arrived home before us. The following morning, we returned to the airport to pick up our oldest daughter from Virginia. Her husband and two children soon followed. Broken-hearted, we were all eager to be together, mourn together, and find answers to make some sense of it all.
Together, we searched his room, phone, and computer. We eventually found a message from him thanking his fiancé’s mother for sending him some marijuana, saying, “It wasn’t what I wanted but probably what I needed. “ We assumed it was to aid him in the foot pain he was having. In the continued search, we also found evidence of marijuana paraphernalia purchases he had personally made from Amazon. We didn’t find any marijuana in his room, but his fiancé later confessed that she had disposed of it and all the paraphernalia before we returned home. We believe he had vaped marijuana with highly concentrated THC, causing a psychosis.
Still searching for answers, knowing Jacob had just recently been to a doctor for a physical, my husband and I were able to get his blood test results showing marijuana was in his system, but he was otherwise healthy. His friends also shared more information about his use of marijuana when they were together. We believe he was possibly vaping more often in our absence, though our daughter never saw any evidence of it. There was, however, some abnormal behavior his fiancé observed the week we were gone. For example, she said his sleeping and eating habits were off, and he had become passionate about becoming spiritual and wrote wedding vows that were just odd and out of character.
Suicide is a word we have all struggled to use in his passing. It is defined as the intentional act of taking one’s own life. This was not him. He would never have done this to himself or us intentionally. Jacob was happy; he had a good life and exhibited no signs of depression. He experienced usual life challenges like we all do, but he handled them. We know marijuana took him from us.
Jacob’s absence has created a huge void in our lives. We miss him beyond words, and our family will never again be whole in this lifetime. Some of us have sought counseling to help us through our grief. Our faith, belief in Jesus Christ, and understanding of life beyond this life have helped us cope immensely. We have faith that Jacob is in a good place, and we will be with him again.
As horrible as this story is and as heartbroken as we are, with Jacob so clearly out of his mind, we are grateful there were no other injuries or fatalities that could have taken place. With all the horrible rampaging killings that go on in our country, I wonder how many of them are caused by the effects of marijuana and how many more people will suffer and die because of it. Kamala Harris once said regarding marijuana, “I think that it gives a lot of people joy, and we need more joy”. I think she and everyone need to be aware that there is a dangerous suicide-inducing marijuana out there, causing much heartache, misery, and pain.
Changes have to be made with the legalization of this harmful, brain-altering substance that can cause brain damage, murder, and suicide. My heart goes out to all the lives and families this product has destroyed and will continue to destroy until changes are made.
From Jacob’s mom, Heidi Porter
Please view this beautiful tribute Jacob’s family made on Facebook to honor him on his birthday.
