I was introduced to weed when I was in high school. It was a cool thing to do. I tried it and knew I was hooked from the first time. I kept using it for several years. Over time, my symptoms of paranoia, weird thoughts, and delusions got worse and worse.
I eventually had an episode of weird thoughts, so I shared this with my parents and ended up in a mental hospital. After I got out, I didn’t think weed was my problem, so I kept on using it. Only to find myself in rehab about a month later. That’s when my recovery journey started.
When I got out of rehab I joined a good recovery community. They had meetings, fellowship, and fun. I enjoyed it for about a year, but I ended up in another mental hospital. I was trying so hard to recover but felt like the cards were against me.
So, I got out of this hospital, and I decided to keep trekking on. I eventually landed on some good information online and in recovery groups. They said you can’t recover with the same attitude and thinking that got you high. I knew something had to change. So, I got into the recovery process.
Things started changing, and I started to feel better. Peace of mind was something I hadn’t felt in years. And the new peace of mind I felt wasn’t like the high peace of mind I got when smoking weed. This peace of mind was absent of anxiety and paranoia. I knew I had to cultivate this. I kept on with the recovery, and things started to get better. I was making friends here and there and starting to trust myself again.
I took a big hit to my trust when I kept getting into bad situations. So, I developed this recovery mindset. To live on a spiritual basis. Which includes prayer and meditation. Something out there had to be watching over me. I used to get myself into all sorts of bad situations and somehow made it out alive. So I knew something had to be watching over me.
I began offering hope to other people in recovery. We get a lot of new people, often desperate for help and seeking solutions. I give part of my time trying to show them how that worked for me. The way that worked for me isn’t just a temporary solution, though.
I know I can’t go back to weed ever in my lifetime. It will probably end up with me in another mental hospital or worse. That’s just how my body reacts to weed. So, I remain sober and active in the recovery community. Active in my own life as well. I do live a healthy lifestyle. Mind, body, and spirit for recovery. It’s all interconnected.
My message to the new person reading this, is there’s hope for your recovery. I once was hopeless, very hopeless. I didn’t think I was gonna make it out of my psychosis mindset. The ever-agonizing voice inside my head that kept me down. But there’s a way out. I’m a living example. That’s not to brag or anything. I’m grateful to my Higher Power that I was shown a path to get back on solid ground.
Anyways, recovery is possible and remember to not lose hope!
K., young adult